At the end of 2016 I wanted to re-post an old blog because it still fits. Life is made up of simple and complex losses and gains… and what we do with them is who we become. This one is for my friends who have had great losses this year and are working on reclaiming their shiny…with aloha and love and hope for 2017.
The Loss Happens
Denial
Shock
Denial
Numbness
Collapse
Outrage
Denial
Disbelief
Confusion
Anger
Fear
Dawning
Confusion
Breakdowns
Isolation
Body Responses
Searching For Answers
Rejecting Answers
Giggles
Confusion
Panic
Fear
Guilt
Loss Of Energy
Anger
Depression
Loneliness
Weeping
Random Gratitude
Humor
Horror
Fear
Isolation
Blank Spots
Confusion
Crazy Moments
Energy Bursts
Rejoining
Depression
Difficulty Getting Back To Life
Loss Revisited
Attempts To Re-Enter
New Failures
Good Moments
New Collapses
Rage
Forgiveness
Guilt
Softness
Forgetfulness
Starting Over
New Situations
New Ways To Relate
More Losses
Silences
Discovery Of Strengths
Discovery Of Weaknesses
New Ideas
Testing
Failing
Aloneness
Succeeding
Reclaiming
Failing Again
Review of denials
Re-Reclaiming
Hope
Affirmations
Expanded Beliefs
New Hopes
Standing
Falling
Finding Truths
Rising Up Again
Review Of Losses
Review Of Pain
Sarcasm and Bitterness
Moments Of Joy
Guilt For Moments Of Joy
Seeing More
Expanding Moments Of Joy And Relief
Adjusting
Categorizing Pain And Losses
Cataloging Pain And Losses
New Angers And New Sadness
New Humor
Re-Entry
Teaching Others
Communication Clears
Survival Guilt
Survival Gratitude
Sharing Hopes
Seeing Future
Reviewing Losses Ongoing
Developing New Coping Strategies
Finding New Strengths
Emotional Wisdom
Spiritual Infrastructure
Teaching
Witnessing
Arising
Evolving
Humility
Compassion
Empathy
The Gains Start Becoming Visible
Slowly, the long term process allows you the opportunity of becoming more than you ever imagined as you become a legacy of memory and hope for others and gently transform the loss into meaning as a never forgotten, always felt, gift and blessing.
I bow deeply to the meaning of your losses and your journey and know you will rise up and shine again.
Reclaim your Shiny
Aloha, Dr. Vali
December 30, 2016
©Vali Hawkins-Mitchell, Midnight December, 2015