Grief: the Messy Journey to Illumination

At the end of 2016 I wanted to re-post an old blog because it still fits. Life is made up of simple and complex losses and gains… and what we do with them is who we become. This one is for my friends who have had great losses this year and are working on reclaiming their shiny…with aloha and love and hope for 2017.

The Loss Happens

Denial

Shock

Denial

Numbness

Collapse

Outrage

Denial

Disbelief

Confusion

Anger

Fear

Dawning

Confusion

Breakdowns

Isolation

Body Responses

Searching For Answers

Rejecting Answers

Giggles

Confusion

Panic

Fear

Guilt

Loss Of Energy

Anger

Depression

Loneliness

Weeping

Random Gratitude

Humor

Horror

Fear

Isolation

Blank Spots

Confusion

Crazy Moments

Energy Bursts

Rejoining

Depression

Difficulty Getting Back To Life

Loss Revisited

Attempts To Re-Enter

New Failures

Good Moments

New Collapses

Rage

Forgiveness

Guilt

Softness

Forgetfulness

Starting Over

New Situations

New Ways To Relate

More Losses

Silences

Discovery Of Strengths

Discovery Of Weaknesses

New Ideas

Testing

Failing

Aloneness

Succeeding

Reclaiming

Failing Again

Review of denials

Re-Reclaiming

Hope

Affirmations

Expanded Beliefs

New Hopes

Standing

Falling

Finding Truths

Rising Up Again

Review Of Losses

Review Of Pain

Sarcasm and Bitterness

Moments Of Joy

Guilt For Moments Of Joy

Seeing More

Expanding Moments Of Joy And Relief

Adjusting

Categorizing Pain And Losses

Cataloging Pain And Losses

New Angers And New Sadness

New Humor

Re-Entry

Teaching Others

Communication Clears

Survival Guilt

Survival Gratitude

Sharing Hopes

Seeing Future

Reviewing Losses Ongoing

Developing New Coping Strategies

Finding New Strengths

Emotional Wisdom

Spiritual Infrastructure

Teaching

Witnessing

Arising

Evolving

Humility

Compassion

Empathy

The Gains Start Becoming Visible

Slowly, the long term process allows you the opportunity of becoming more than you ever imagined as you become a legacy of memory and  hope for others and gently  transform the loss into meaning as a never forgotten, always felt,  gift  and blessing.

I bow deeply to the meaning of your losses  and your journey and know you will rise up and shine again.

Reclaim your Shiny

Aloha, Dr. Vali

December 30, 2016

©Vali Hawkins-Mitchell, Midnight December, 2015

 

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